What we have left
by MinnieTheMoocherDA
Summary: Knowing that she was going to have to talk to him eventually, Hera agrees to tell Luke about the Jedi that used to be part of her crew. [Characters: Hera Syndulla, Luke Skywalker, Jacen Syndulla, Zeb Orrelios, (mentioned: Ezra Bridger, Kanan Jarrus, Rex, Kallus) Pairings: Implied Kanera and Kalluzeb]


**A/N: ****Haven't written any star wars fanfiction in ages so I hope you guys enjoy! Also sorry for the angst! Xxxxxxxxx**

To call Hoth cold would be an understatement. Icicles dripped from Zeb's frozen fur and even Chewbacca was forced to sometimes wear a coat. And for Hera, as a twi'lek used to living on a desert planet, she was feeling the cold more than most. Still, she doubted that even she wasn't the feeling the cold as much as Jacen, who's half twi'lek and half human genes were not built for these temperatures, which was helped even less by the fact that he was barely a year old.

As much as she hated abandoning her post, Hera knew that leaving Hoth would be best for Jacen. So, she was planning to help her father back on Ryloth, at least until the Rebellion established a more permanent and warmer base. And besides, the cold wasn't the only reason she wanted Jacen off this planet.

"Skywalker's looking for you again." Zeb told her as he entered the Ghost. Hera swore under breath. Ever since the kid had learned that she used to have Jedi on her crew he had been trying to talk to her about them. But even over a year on, she wasn't ready to talk. She doubted she ever would be.

"General Syndulla?" She turned around to see a young human male with sand coloured hair and wide eyes that weren't as innocent as she remembered, standing in the ship's entrance.

"Yes?" She replied tensely. Luke didn't need the force to tell that she didn't want him here.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you. But if you don't want to I understand." He said, already backing out of the ship.

Zeb gave her a look that said if she wanted him to kick the kid out, destroyer of the death star or not, he would. Subtly she shook her head. She was going to have to talk to the kid about them eventually. She might as well get it over and done with. And besides Jacen was asleep in his cot.

"No, its fine."

Zeb left with the silent promise that he would just be outside if he needed her, whilst Skywalker walked cautiously in. She gestured towards the living area and the pair sat opposite each other at the table as though they were at an awkward family meal.

"What is it you want to talk about?" She asked despite knowing full well why he was here.

"Nothing… its just… I was told that you used to have two Jedi as part of your crew?" He asked like a kid wanting their parents to tell them their favourite bedtime story.

"Yes… yes I did." Hera sighed, her thoughts once again being consumed with Kanan and Ezra the way they did when she let herself think about them. It seemed like only yesterday they were sitting at this table beside her, knocking over Zeb's waffles and Sabine's paint as they practised a new lightsabre move.

Luke shivered slightly in a way that reminded her of Kanan, making her think his reaction was more than just because of the cold.

"I was hoping you could tell me more about their training and how they lived by the Jedi code." Luke asked before looking away. "Although I heard you were very close to them, so you don't have to tell me if it's too painful. And I'm sorry about what happened."

Hera could tell that he truly was sorry about her loss. You weren't really a member of the Rebellion if you didn't know the pain of loosing someone to the Empire. And she couldn't blame him for wanting to know more about his heritage. She remembered her own feelings of frustration and being lost when her father refused to answer her questions about her mother, no matter how many times she begged.

"I don't know much about the training myself but Kanan had a holocron that contained example of lightsabre stances. It's a bit damaged but with your skills you could probably get it working again."

The kids face lit up like a sun.

"Really? Wow thank you so much!"

The childish spark in his eyes remined her so much of Ezra that she had to look away.

"It's nothing. I'll show it you."

She led him towards Kanan's room which she had still only been in a handful of times since his death. And with Rex staying in Sabine's old room and Kallus sharing with Zeb, nobody else had any reason to go inside either.

The opened the door to the taste of stale air and dust that had become snowflakes in the cold weather. A single bed was directly in front of them with a small storage unit beside it and a painting of Kanan wielding his lightsabre on the wall. It was exactly as she remembered.

Hera tried to block out the memories of shared secrets and nights of happiness as she headed towards the storage unit. She opened it up to find all the things Kanan had that connected him to the Jedi.

"Take whatever you want. It's no use to anyone here anymore."

She could tell Luke was restraining himself from searching through everything in the draw.

"And… and what about the Jedi code?" He asked to distract himself from doing just that.

Hera couldn't stop herself from scoffing.

"Neither Kanan or Ezra stuck very much to the Jedi code. And from what I understood of it, that was probably for the best. Kanan told me that as a Jedi you were taught to isolate yourself from your emotions and those around you. Which is a very self-destructive way to live and unfortunately probably influenced the Jedi's downfall. It is the love of our friends and family that gives us the strength to do what we believe is right. So, don't live by the code of the Jedi, live by your own."

Luke nodded at her words, his eyes understanding if unsure. She hoped he heeded her words. Otherwise she feared that if they stuck to the rules of the past, the next generation of Jedi would be doomed to repeat themselves again.

Apparently unable to restrain himself any longer, Luke reached into the draw and picked up the holocron. Hera watched, still finding amazement in the abilities of the Jedi as the object started to glow in the boy's hand. Despite being damaged, the corners of the box still turned of their own accord and the image of the man Hera knew to be General Kenobi flickered to life from it.

But before it could speak a word, Hera suddenly heard Jacen cry out from her room. She raced across the hallway to where Jacen thrashed in his cot. Immediately she knew something was wrong. She recognised every cry her son made and he had never made this one before. She picked him up, but his cries just continued.

"Is he alright?"

Realising that Luke was directly behind her, Hera clutched Jacen against her chest and backed towards the wall so that she was as far away from him as possible.

"No! Stay away from him!"

She knew allowing Luke on board had been a mistake. She'd managed to keep Jacen safe from him for over year. Why did she think him being asleep would make any difference?

Luke held his hands up in surrender as he slowly backed away from her, knowing that being around an angry mother was not a very safe idea.

"I'm sorry. My father was a Jedi. I've been told that he sent me to Tatooine to protect me, so that I wouldn't get involved with another Jedi war. So, I understand that Jacen's father would want me to stay away so that I wouldn't bring danger to your son too."

Hera shook her head.

"No. Jacen's father would want you to teach him the ways of the force." She looked down at her son. With one hand, she gently stroked where the tuft of his green hair from his mother met the brown skin of his father, whilst the other still held on to him as tightly as possible. "But I don't. I won't lose anyone else because of their damned belief in the force again."

Luke nodded sadly in understanding. Hera heard the recording of Obi-Wan cut off when he picked the holocron up. He started to leave the ship when his footsteps stopped.

"You know he's force sensitive."

Hera didn't answer. She continued to stare down at her son and somehow hold him even tighter. A few moments later the footsteps continued until they were too distant to hear.

Not long after, Zeb arrived back on the ship. She felt him gently take Jacen from her arms back into the crib, so that he could hold her against his chest. Only then did she allow herself to cry.

"It's ok." He said as she soaked his already damp fur. "I miss them too."


End file.
